The Cathedral was warm and inviting, a stark contrast to the freezing conditions outside. It was fairly quiet, as was to be expected on a weeknight. A few priests were consorting over something in the corner, the old priest that had shown Kalentha kindness the night before, Father Alvati, was on the opposite end of the room speaking to a small congregation of townsfolk. She couldn’t quite make out what he was saying from here, and while she was tempted to get up and listen in, she still felt quite out of place in the Cathedral.
Father Alvati seemed to Kalentha to be the perfect example of what a priest should be; caring, forgiving and understanding. He had spent hours last night talking with Kalentha about… anything that really crossed his mind - from history to ships to their favourite species’ of birds. He knew something was bothering her and was doing his best to keep her mind off of it, at least at first. At the end of their conversation, before he went to resign to his chambers, he asked her to speak about it directly.
“Sometimes people are put in situations they don’t deserve to be in, Kalentha, but everything happens for a reason. You merely have to remain strong. It would ease your mind to open up about what’s happened.”
She just shook her head and turned away, replying bitterly, “I deserved everything that happened. It’s my karma.”
Even though she said it a bit too harshly, he didn’t seem to take offense. He smiled at her and told her to get some rest. He was probably right, though. She’d never taken the chance to open up fully to any of her friends. Cazuvel was always too erratic for her to tell him the full story, Sarah had an attention problem, Fox and Flip were… Fox and Flip, and the only other person that seemed to genuinely care for her enough to be a confidant was… Jacky, bizarrely enough. Sure, she could pour her heart out to Adragan, but he’d probably be daydreaming and it’d take him five minutes to blink awake with a dumbfounded, “Wha’?”
Ever since she'd begun to mend her ways, she'd had this idea floating around in her head that bad things would inevitably happen, retribution for all the injustice she'd caused in her life. You can't go through life as a merciless killer and not expect to be dealt some form of punishment at some point or another... it might have been a dismal way to think, but recent events merely reinforced it in her mind.
She leaned her head back against the pillar, letting out a deep sigh. She was exhausted still. Lately, she’d been unable to catch more than an hour or two of sleep a day, and that was if she was that lucky. It started with Aaia’s supposed death, and was exasperated by the ordeal with Sarah. She couldn’t even resort to magical means now; somehow, her grasp over nature slipped away almost overnight. She tried meditation, she tried training, she even tried praying, but nothing worked.
Maybe Father Alvati was right. Her friends had always told her she bottled too much up and lied even to herself about what she was feeling, but she’d never listened. Maybe it was time for that to change. It wouldn’t be at all comfortable, but it would be for the best. She barely knew him, but there was something about him that made her feel she could trust him. He wouldn’t repeat anything she said, and he wouldn’t have any inclination to regardless.
She looked back over at Alvati, who was just now finishing with the small group, giving him a little half-hearted wave to beckon him over. He gave her a slight nod, making his way over to her. She stood up, more out of respect than anything else.
“How are you doing tonight, Kalentha?” he asked, offering a warm smile.
“I’m… doing alright,” she said hesitantly, taking a quick glance around to ensure no one would overhear her request. “I’d like to… confess.”
“Oh?” he replied, looking genuinely surprised for the first time since she met him.
“It may take a while…” she said, looking down at the floor. “I’ve got two decades of wrongs I’ve never sought forgiveness for…”
He nodded, setting his hand on her shoulder, beginning to guide her into a side room. “You have as much time as you need.”
It was odd. She’d never really taken to the Church or its belief system, but something’d changed. With everything that had happened, she almost felt she needed something like this in her life - for strength, for guidance, but more than anything else, for understanding.
