Liliania Sunsong
In life there is no such thing as the “easy way out”. There are many times when it seems like it, especial with so many scientific inventions and powerful magicians out in the world. In truth, it is not a quick and easy solution to your problems; it only seems like it, it’s actually a trap set to explode in your face later down the road. I wonder if Elly learned from this, or if she will have to repeat this harsh lesson. If she does, I hope there will be fewer casualties in the explosion. I kind of doubt it, people are naturally drawn to Elly and her sweet nature, it makes it all the more painful when the “kaboom” goes off.
This all started when Elly tried to take an easy way out, and erase Nes and Kaze from her mind. In a way I’m glad she erased Kaze, since he will not be returning. Though Nes is hurt, and continues to hurt from the action she did. He’s not the only one that was hurt by it either. While erasing the memory of Nes, she lost some memories of Spike. These memories are precious to Spike, and he was particularly hurt when she found out she threw them away.
Really it was a selfish act Elly did, but I don’t think I can fault her with it, despite the pain it caused Nes. Everyone has a right to be selfish now and then. Some have that luxury more than others. It was also cowardly, she turns to hide and run away instead to just face her fears and discomfort. I still can’t fault for that, I have been more cowardly in the past then I have been selfish. No one is perfect; our flaws are just as much a part of us as our virtues. It’s easy to forget that, until faced with pressure.
It doesn’t really matter if I could fault her or not. One my judgments are not very important. Two it still blew up in her face regardless, because of Spike. Everyone else was allowing her to let go of her deed, but he was not, he could not. He was the one that was writing her the letters. He was the one that was stalking her.
I didn’t find out in ideal circumstances. He told us after he returned money to Lelle, told us he was Elly’s stalker all this time, by some causal way. Both Lelle and I were furious. He remained causal, even flamboyant about it. I slapped him.
For the first time in years, I raised a hand against someone not in self-defense. I can’t help but wondered if I would have done so if my spirits and health was a bit better. I have been getting full night’s sleep, thank the Light – thanks to the dreamless sleep potions, but when this happened, I did not have as many full sleeping nights as I do now. Lack of sleep and under so much pressure is a poor excuse, for this leap in judgment. I was so angry with him. All this time I have been worried about Elly, about what the stalker would do, about why she was being stalked, and it turned to out to be Spike!
To make things worse, I was told by Elly that none of this is my business anyway. She’s right it’s not. What Spike does to Elly is Spike’s and Elly’s business, but- I still worried about the letters, she still talked to me about them, she was still my friend – at least I thought she was my friend. Now I’m not so sure.
I learned that Elly is not one to value friendships. Really I should have figured that out after what she did to Nes. This lesson was painful.
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After all this mess spread on Elly’s table, something within her snapped. She’s now completely incoherent. Of course she refuses to see a mind healer. She refuses to stay home. She just wanders around Silvermoon, eating flowers, talking in the third person, and having everyone worry about her. It’s very hard not to feel bitter about it all really. It’s none of my business, none of my concern, yet I worry regardless. She may not be my friend, but I am still hers. This leaves this whole thing a bitter taste in my mouth.
When I was trying to convince her to see a mind healer, she made me promise to go speak with Spike. I find that particular prospect entertaining. None of this is my business, but it’s vastly important I speak with Spike. My concern, and judgment is not welcomed, but I am required to forgive regardless.
Finding Spike was no easy task. He is not the sort of person you can simply “find”. In fact one usually does not find Spike, he finds you. Still, his profession is a thief, and so in order to maintain a clientele for his work, he needs to be somewhat traceable. There are few places in this world that protect the black market enough for a thief to be secured enough to meet clients openly. One of these places is of course Booty Bay. So it was there I went at the end of my day, walking in the streets I normally have no business to walk on.
I asked around, talking with the few people I know in this little port town. I ended up in an explosives shop owned by a gnome named “Crazy” Eddie. He was repairing a few things for Spike. All I had to do was sitting and wait. My patience was rewarded.
It was almost comical the way he walked in, talking to Eddie, took one look at me then ran off. I didn’t give chase. One- he is much faster than me. Two- I was not there to chase goblins, I was there to talk with goblins. Three- I needed him to trust me, which means I needed to prove that he could leave and not worry about me following at any given time. So I simply remained seated, and waited patiently for him to return. My patience was rewarded.
After he returned, he asked me to follow him. He took me to a small nook of the port town, where there was no one in sight or hearing distance. It was there that we talked. Though I had to prove to him that he could trust me still, he did not like how I managed to track him down. I ended up showing him the signet Nyl gave me. I wasn’t supposed to show it to anyone. Spike recognized it though, and I won a small grudgingly bit of his trust.
We talked. He told me his side of the story. How he had feelings for Elly, how he thought it was important for her to have the memory she lost of his advice. It wasn’t as important to him that I forgive him as it was to Elly, probably because he cannot forgive himself.
He told me he wanted out, wanted to be done with everything, Elly, the Tears, and everyone. Start over and start fresh. Though, if he really wanted to do this, would he have allowed me to talk to him? Somehow I don’t think so. I tried to convince him to talk to Elly one last time before he goes, to otherwise he would regret it.
It took some persuading. I ended up sharing with him, more than I shared with anyone. I ended up giving him Aidyn’s rings to set home the lesson I was trying to teach him. In the end, I don’t know if he listened or not, if he’ll talk to her or not. I hope he does, he’ll be happier, having that last bit of closure.
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Of course Elly’s mess was not the sum of my past few days. I managed to recruit a few more individuals to my Order. I don’t think I have been a very good officer to the order as of late, so I’m particularly glad I managed to perform some of my duties.
The first individual is a fellow child of the Light, Brother Walstein, though he seems to pronounce it Volstein. He died thirty years ago, and seems very much confused by the state of current affairs. I know the Order will help him get sorted out, and he’ll be able to find a purpose again.
The second individual is Sir Glosin Lightwalker. I met this one with Casey on my Sunday Service. He’s not the brightest candle in the shop, but he has such a gallant and brave heart. I confess, it was more for mischievous reasons that I recruited him to the Order. Casey will be most annoyed with me, but he’ll be good for her. He’ll be very refreshing. He’ll cause more trouble than anyone else combined.
I met Lady Tzyreaux Blacksun today; she was talking with Lord Blow-Horn. She’s married to Dhel’Reneth. She is a lovely and a reserved woman. She’s actually heard of me. It’s so odd having a reputation that actually want people to seek me out instead of shun me. She’s interested in seeing my Academy, bringing her son to play with my children. I’m actually looking forward to the visit.
I went to see Seralah for a visit, perhaps see if I could get some of her perfume, but she was wasn’t there. I’ll just have to come back another time, or best yet, write and let her know I’m coming.
Nes is still visiting, I’m really glad he’s here. He’s been a really big help with me coping. Though I feel I have no right to cope, or need to cope. He disagrees. He thinks it’s time for me to stop moping and move on. I guess he’s right. He doesn’t like me using the dreamless sleep potions. He wants to try something else but we have yet to try anything. Then again I’ve been running around and dealing with everyone else’s problems and not my own. Perhaps it’s time to change that.
Sawni says that I am making excuses and running from my problems. I think she’s right. I think I’m almost as bad as Elly. It’s time I look at myself, and figure out exactly what I want. It’s time I either let go of him, or run after him. It’s time to face the nightmares.
